Christmas in Swansea, down under
Friday, August 15, 2008, 09:00
Having never in my 31 years spent a Christmas away from Swansea, I wasn't about to ruin that record, even though I was on the other side of the globe. It was lucky then that early Tasmanians decided in the 19th Century to name one of their towns Swansea, too.
After spending the previous month in the Australian state of Victoria, staying with friends, and undertaking a convincing impression of someone doing a hard days work on a vineyard, it was decided by myself and travelling friend Kelly, to head off to said town and celebrate the festive season in style.
We flew from Melbourne a few days before Christmas straight into a storm. We had rain, thunder, lightning - the lot. We bounced our way to the Tasmanian capital Hobart in about an hour.
We hired a car at the airport to get us to Swansea, which is located in the centre of the east coast, with no problems, and off we went.
Well, eventually, because the thing wouldn't start.
Apparently you have to hold the clutch down while turning the ignition, which might be a habit of some of drivers, but not mine.
So, off to Swansea we went. Well, eventually, as I drove in completely the opposite direction to start with.
Still, we saw the sights of Hobart, a couple of times.
By the way, if you want a map reading expert of the highest order, a cartographic genius, a pathfinding professional, ask Kelly, and she might be able to point you in the right direction (well point anyway) as where to find one of the above.
But it would probably be more useful blindfolding a cheese and pickle sandwich, and asking it to find you your way, than inquiring the next highway or turn off from Kelly herself.
Fair dos she is well aware of her completely awful map-based skills, so she won't kill me when she reads this.
Anyway, it was all fun finding the right way, and the roads are quiet (and bendy) and nice to drive on. If you are into rallying and good at avoiding marsupials, these would be your dream roads.
Got a headache from Kelly's misuse of the radio, but its great to have our on wheels and go anywhere. The scenery is stunning, especially along the coast.
We had booked several days at the Swansea Backpackers' Lodge and arrived in the town after a couple of hours of scenic driving from Hobart.
We knew this Swansea was small, but I don't think we realised how small. It's lucky I slowed down as we reached the town as we were in one side and out the other before we knew it. There wasn't a soul about either, but we fully expected the lodge to be heaving with revelling backpackers.
I think we sensed this wouldn't be quite the experience we expected, when the owners of our accommodation greeted us, let us in, and then promptly left, saying they would see us after Christmas.
We were the only guests.
Half expecting there to be no-one running the place either, it was at least a relief to meet Lynne who turned up vacuuming a few minutes later. It was her first day, and she seemed a little nervous.
I assured her she's hardly likely to be rushed off her feet.
The lodge was huge, immaculate, modern, and completely empty. Oh well, maybe it was the calm before the storm.
"Got many booked for Christmas Lynne?" I inquired.
"Well, we have two checking into today and staying for a few days ??? Oh!???.No, hang on, that's you two."
"Bonza."
Still, we were blessed with the good fortune that our lodge was right next door to the Swansea Bark Mill and Museum!
We had the whole town to explore yet so not all was lost.
Swansea is located on the northwest shore of Great Oyster Bay and overlooks the Freycinet National Park. In short, its in a rather tidy location.
One observer wrote in 1852 that Swansea was "little more than one struggling street, its chief feature a long wooden pier, erected by the inhabitants, the white cottage of an English clergyman on the point to the south, and a few whitewashed buildings."
I would love to say in over a 150 years it had livened up, but I'm not going to.
Originally known as Great Swansport, the town was established as a garrison in the 1820s. The town remained under military control until 1860, when it became part the first rural municipality in Tasmania. This was named Glamorgan. It also had its part to play in the housing of convicts.
Lynne told us the area was currently experiencing a mini drought.
As we left the lodge to explore it started to rain.
Next to Bark Mill and Museum is a nice big boozer. As seems to be the tradition round here, it was completely deserted. It also closes at nine in the evening.
However, we booked our Christmas dinner there and the barman (gotta be in the running for most cheerful person on the planet) assured us there would be at least another 40 persons joining us. I hope they are all up for some board games, and watching The Two Ronnies Xmas special. The town itself is quaint and the beach and bay look amazing. Unfortunately, the beach was covered in a mass of sea weed which absolutely stank. A local walking his dog told me there had been a storm in a wrong place out at sea, and this has resulted in all the rotting sea weed piling up on their nice sands.
Tasmania is cooler than mainland Australia, but still warm enough to spend Christmas Day in your shorts and on a beach. After meeting people in the local shops, they informed us that Swansea was a very popular holiday town, but unfortunately people don't start their holidays until after Christmas in these parts. So it was unfortunate timing on our part, but at least we were meeting the real Swansea people.
None of them seemed at all impressed we were from Swansea in Wales. Must be the laid back Tasmanian demeanor.
It was unusual to hear Swansea pronounced as I suppose it should be. If you were to 'say what you see' then we would all be saying Swan-Sea, not Swan-Zea as us native Jacks do. These Antipodean Jacks almost pronounce it as two separate words, with emphasis on the 'sea.' Try it. It's a struggle.
The town is perfectly positioned to explore Tasmania. It helped that we had our Hyundai Assent to do just that. The nearby Freycinet National Park is spectacular, and contains Wineglass Bay, which is a sight to raise a toast to. Its also just about equidistant between the two main Tasmanian towns of Launceston and Hobart, if Swansea isn't exciting enough for you.
Chrsitmas Day came around 10 hours before it would back in our original Swansea. Baileys, beer, wine, turkey dinner, beer, Christmas pudding, beer, crackers, old films on the box. Being the only guests we had the luxury of the TV to ourselves. Not all bad see!
This is no different to a festive day back home. Got up quite late after enjoying a few Christmas eve drinks. That was helped by the fact that Australia is full of drive through bottle shops. Can't imagine our off licences back home going the same way. Also helped that the Swansea drive-in bottle shop was literally 10 seconds walk from our front door. Kelly still wanted to take the car though.
Christmas lunch was therefore just about breakfast.
Good stuff though. Usual fare but completely devoid of sprouts.
A good turn out, but no-one seemed to be getting as wrecked or as loud as we would in a pub back home on such an occasion.
The jokes in the crackers were equally as bad though, so no let down there.
The main difference in this alternative Swansea though was that it was summertime. We weren't experiencing the best of weather, but we had no fear of it getting dark at four in the afternoon. So while most people back home settled down for Doctor Who, we were hitting the beach (the part with no seaweed) with the remainder of our booze. Kelly attempted to collect firewood for a fire.
Obviously.
But that wasn't too successful.
She was much more successful at falling over.
Stayed there all evening and watched the moon rise above the pier as we quaffed the last of our festive grog. It looked like a ball of fire.
I suppose the moon is upside down compared to how you see it back in Wales!
So it is a novelty to visit another Swansea. It isn't a thriving metropolis, but what would you expect with a town of less than 600 inhabitants. Those that do live here seem to be mainly in the older generation bracket, so I think this place would have more appeal to persons more mature that us spotty faced backpackers. Its without doubt in a breath taking location and I'm sure at the height of the holiday season its bouncing like a kangaroo.
Never likely to be as lively as Wind Street on a Saturday night, but you are also never going to bump into the more unsavoury element, that has made our City a star on 'Cops with Cameras.'
If you do ever get the chance to visit then I would recommend hiring a car, so you can get about to all the surrounding sights. I would say though that I wouldn't put it as a top destination to be visiting at Christmas unless you are fed up of the family, and need a really quiet one
This is the sort of town in which you could leave your back door unlocked when you pop out. You could probably leave it unlocked while you went away for a few weeks. You'd probably come back to find someone has done all your hoovering, your dishes, and polished your pets.
A very nice town, with very nice people, and of course a very nice name.


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