REAL Madrid make me real mad.

And Liverpool, Chelsea, Juventus and all the rest.

Swansea City are playing their best football since the last interesting Formula 1 race — there was one in 1983 apparently — and are right in the hunt for the Premier League as the finishing line approaches.

And how many fans turn up to watch the Plymouth game? Just over 13,000.

Nearly 500 of them were up from clotted cream country, so there were barely 12,500 Jacks at the Liberty for what was the fifth-to-last home fixture of the season.

My guess is that the Champions League had something to do with it.

Liverpool against Real Madrid at Anfield was probably too much for some Swans fans to resist.

Like the guy who was sat in front of me at the Charlton game wearing a Liverpool jacket.

I've never quite worked that out — getting kitted out in another club's colours when you are going to a game.

Maybe he was a Liverpool fan on holiday who fancied catching a match.

And maybe I'll pull this weekend.

People say the crowds are affected by the credit crunch.

And fair enough, if you can't afford to go to the game, you can't afford to go.

But the Liberty isn't that expensive — the tickets are among the cheapest in the division from what I've seen this season — and Swansea's floating fans need to get their bums on seats in the next few weeks.

It may be a tired old cliché that the fans can be a 12th man, but it's a tried old cliché because it's been true for donkey's years.

The average crowd at Swans home games this season has been in excess of 15,000, so where were the missing thousands on Tuesday night?

If we do end up in the play-off final this season, there will be 30,000-plus cheering the boys on at Wembley.

Where are they now?

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THERE were more bookings at the Liberty on Tuesday than at a Gordon Ramsey restaurant.

Referee Iain Williamson kept seeing things the rest of us couldn't and vice versa.

I bet he'd be the non-darts player if he ever went on Bullseye.

Paul Sturrock moaned that at least one or two of the six yellow cards shown to Plymouth players were unfair.

Maybe, but then there were at least one or two rustic challenges that Williamson didn't notice.

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MY sister's having a baby and I'm trying to get her to call it Dimitrios, after a footballing hero of mine.

"The Swans haven't got any players called Dimitrios," she said.

"I know," I said, "and that's why he's so special.

"He's not even at the Liberty and he makes the whole place smile."