Gareth 'Alfie' Thomas's Secret Past shown on TV
WELSH rugby hero Gareth Thomas has told the secret story behind his coming out to the nation.
He has filmed a personal documentary which was shown on Channel 5 last night.
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Gareth on the cliffside where he used to walk when he was going through the turmoil of not being able to admit his sexuality
Coming Out — My Secret Past was a one-off hard-hitting documentary highlighting his struggle.
Listed 12th in the world on the international list of leading rugby union test try scorers and the first Welshman to win 100 international caps, Gareth was a leading player in one of the most masculine of sports between 1995 and 2007.
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However, for 20 years of his life, he tried to hide that he was gay from supporters, fellow players and his family.
In the documentary, Gareth goes back to his roots to discover what effect his secrecy had on others, to explain why he behaved as he did.
He also said he wanted to encourage other people to be open and honest about their sexuality.
"I am Gareth Thomas, the only professional rugby union player to publicly say, "I am gay". I have been through 20 years of torment battling with my sexuality," he said in the film.
"I became a master of playing the straight man. I caused misery for those closest to me. I hated being Gareth Thomas. I hated the man I looked at in the mirror. I hated him so much I wanted to die."
In the film, Gareth, who has been starring in ITV's Dancing On Ice, visited his parents Barry and Yvonne, near Bridgend, to see how they felt about him making the documentary.
His sexuality was never something they openly discussed. Gareth told his family he felt he had a responsibility to discuss it because of his position in the public eye.
While at home he also went through some old memorabilia from his time at Pencoed RFC. Alfie, now 38, said watching old videos of his time there reminded him of how angry he was as a young man.
He said he would take his aggression out on the opposition players "to look hard". And he recalled joining in "homophobic changing-room banter" as a way of hiding who he was.
While filming the documentary, Gareth met 17-year-old Olly who had been bullied at school because of his sexual orientation.
"I just wanted to escape from the world," Olly told him, admitting to self-harming and feeling suicidal. It was only when he came out to his family and friends that a weight was lifted from his shoulders and he started his life anew, he added.
During last night's documentary Gareth, who married his on-off girlfriend Gemma when he was 27, also returned to the church where he exchanged his vows.
Five years later, he confessed his sexual orientation to her and moved out.
But even then only his closest family and friends knew the real reason behind the split.
Following one disastrous performance on the pitch, he said he faced up to his teammates and came out to some of the senior players.
"It's hard to admit, but I wasted 20 years of my life hiding who I was," he added.
"I don't want anyone else to go through what I did. I'm really passionate that people should be open about their sexuality as soon as they feel comfortable with it."
Comments
by Neathboy234
Thursday, January 17 2013, 10:28AM
“Alan321 i agree with you. Personally i think Alfie is a very brave man”
by Alan321
Thursday, January 17 2013, 10:14AM
“I think its great that Alfie has taken the time to go and talk to other people who have been having difficulty with their sexuality, if you dont want to watch him dont look at the show but this could help some kids avoid the years he spent beating himself up.”
by Neathboy234
Tuesday, January 15 2013, 5:48PM
“What amazes me is that lots of people knew about Alfie 15 years ago. It was common knowledge with just about everyone who played rugby locally. I know of at least 2 other welsh international rugby players who are also gay. Personally people should be just left alone to be themselves, we are what we are and nothing is going to change that. The most important thing in life is to remember "We're not here for a long time, we're hear for a good time!"”
by Dan01
Tuesday, January 15 2013, 5:34PM
“Have to say that I too am fed up with hearing Alfie "promoting" his story. No big deal, bigger things have happened in my life but I wouldn't wish to share them with the world just to gain "celebrity" status. Get on with your life Alfie, its your life not ours! keep it that way.”
by hacker_jack
Tuesday, January 15 2013, 4:13PM
“What annoys me is that very little is ever mentioned of the reaction he got after coming out.
The player he knew and played alongside and yes even engaged in "homophobic banter" with were actually to a man very supportive. It didn't matter one jot to most of them. The joking might have been at the expense of homosexuals but that never mean that there was any real malice intended, they were just jokes, no worse and no better than the ribbing he got for his receding hairline except in his own head.
I appreciate that there is a genuine fear that you are different that makes you blow these things out of proportion but perhaps if you could just admit that you were wrong in your assumption as to how people would react then maybe you would help others who feel similarly trapped into a life of lies to realise that they can admit the truth a lot sooner than you did. He comes very close to saying this above but never quite admits he was wrong. I hope he does so in the documentary.”
by deridu
Tuesday, January 15 2013, 2:13PM
“Still reporting ? I`m sick of hearing about his change.
Why do we have to put up with his constant talk.?
So he`s come out, who cares???
Others have come out but it is not reported in the news.
Live your life Alfie as you wish but do not involve the public”